Mean Green Machine
Hannah Grace passed her driving test in 2013
and headed straight for a lime green VW Bug in Dallas. She didn’t stop smiling
for 6 months. Even when parts started rattling off, nothing could shake the Big
Green Grin. Since these cars aren’t designed for dirt roads, Hannah drove it so
slowly it resembled a large green turtle. Despite her TLC, the green bug threw
a headlight while speeding down Hwy 169 in Tulsa. Literally threw an entire
headlight, wires and all. Just let ‘er go. Hannah claims she saw it take
flight, but there was nothing she could do. Hang on to the wheel and keep
driving. The Big Green Grin is beginning to droop.
Taiwan Tales
Timothy should write a book
on his Taiwan adventures, but until then, one of our favorite stories is the
time his rural class of 5th graders went on an over-night field trip
to the Big City. Timothy was in charge of 4 boys who were sharing his hotel
room. At least, there were 4 when he went to take his shower. When he returned,
there were only 3. He figured, “No cause for alarm. The kid’s around here
somewhere.”
But,
very shortly, the trip supervisor came storming into the room demanding, “Where
is Sung-Fu?”
Timothy stared blankly and replied, “Who is
Sung Fu?” He only knew the kids by their American names, which he had given
them (Ted? Eric? Matt?).
This sparked an explosion of fast, furious verbiage
that Timothy could only somewhat interpret. He knew very few Chinese words to
fit this occasion, so he used them over and over. “So sorry. So sorry.”
Sung-Fu eventually did return and claimed he had been there all along. No harm done,
but Timothy was never again allowed to chaperone a field trip.
Ralph! Ralph!
As the snow melted last January, a huge,
shaggy white dog appeared in the front yard. Friendly, slow and docile, Ralph was
welcomed and loved by the entire Allison household. Ralph eventually proved to
be a female, but it was too late to change his/her name (Hereafter, Ralph will
be referred to with alternating gender pronouns). He slept all day, barked all
night, and ate lots of food. Kim’s 1st attempt at a flower garden
revealed Ralph’s only flaw: she digs huge holes in flower beds. Everything
Ralph does is huge. Then came the fateful fall day when the boys started
sighting in their rifles. Ralph disappeared. He made a beeline for Nan and Pa’s
house and has been there ever since, despite numerous vain attempts on our part
to haul her home. He shows up now and then to see what’s in her dinner dish,
but the guns keep sending him back up the hill. Maybe this will be her summer
home (Right next to the petunias).
Onward and Upward!
Joseph’s wrist was confronted by a grinder
while working on a car last January. That ended his career in auto-body, but
allowed him to post a nasty bunch of stitches on Facebook to his admiring fans.
On to My Place BBQ! It’s a great place for left-overs, but after about 6
months, he had eaten all the BBQ he wanted and started climbing 300’ cell phone
towers. At the top of every tower, he makes a vow to quit, but by the time he
touches the ground (and gets his paycheck), he has changed his mind.
Caleb’s Field Trips
Caleb took Jubilee to visit his
favorite childhood destination: the Kirkpatrick Center in OKC (aka the
Omniplex, aka the Science Museum, etc.). They both had a great time, and of
course, no excursion is complete without lots of good food, at as many
restaurants as you can stuff in. In that regard, they are the perfect pair.
They also took a jaunt to the Tulsa Zoo last year, where Caleb got suckered
into buying a picture of Jubilee on a camel, a stuffed animal from the gift
shop, and many a ride on the carousel. Good times with Bubba!
Last May, Bethany graduated from NSU with her
Bachelor’s degree in Criminal Science, and is now living in Tulsa and working
at the County jail (She somehow managed to remove herself from Uncle Sam’s
military roster just after the last newsletter was published. We didn’t ask
how, but we are eternally grateful.). Babysitting inmates has provided Bethany
much character development and a few bruises. It’s a ministry.
She’s in the Jailhouse, Now
Pint-Sized Missionary
At the last
minute, Jubilee decided to go on the church mission trip (her first) to Texas
with her dad. Without her mom. For a whole week.
Jubilee enjoyed helping renovate an old church camp ground and also helped with meal preparations. She did need to move her cot right next to her Dad’s, but who cares? Kim spent the week painting the house in lonely solitude. Whose idea was this, anyway?
Another Dropped Call in Brazil
As soon as Timothy came home from Taiwan, he
was making plans to go to Brazil. He worked (like a horse!) 2 months with a
missionary couple who ran a drug rehab “ranch” and was even able to do a little
preaching through an interpreter. He also helped another missionary family get
their operation off the ground and into the water – a floating ministry - to
bring fresh-water wells to the villages along the Amazon River. This Amazon
boat-tour fulfilled a lifelong dream of Timothy’s, and the Amazon still has his heart. It still has his cell
phone, too. It slipped into the murky waters while he was sleeping on deck.
Only the piranhas kept him from diving in after it.
The Ballad of the Honda Rebel
Years ago, when Timothy got his motorcycle license,
Herb went in halves with him to buy a Honda Rebel. Later, Timothy sold it to
Joseph, and just to be fair, Herb went in halves with him to buy it. Then
Joseph sold it to Hannah, and she sold it to Herb for more than she paid for it
(having never driven it past the mailbox). Now, since Herb is the sole, uncontested
owner of the Rebel, Joseph has borrowed it. He is trying to sell Herb the truck
that Herb gave him last year. And Herb’s major was Business Finance! Could
someone loan Herb a calculator?
Please note that Bethany opted out of the
line-up of Rebel ownership. When her turn came, she took one practice ride on
the dirt bike and drove it straight up the kids’ clubhouse, snapping every rung
on the rope ladder as she went. Kept the throttle wide open all the way.
“Never let go” has been her motto since
childhood; tenacity, her greatest strength. The ride down was more abrupt. After she
revived, we easily convinced her to stick with 4-wheeled vehicles.
A-Camping We Will Go
Last summer, Uncle Curt organized a camp-out
at Robbers’ Cave State Park for any willing nieces and nephews. Jubilee and Mom
represented the Allison family, while Kristen’s clan boasted a full tent with
all 7 members present. Caleb acted as spelunking guide, but hit the trail home
before the raccoon made its midnight appearance and looted our snacks. It saved
us some calories but kept us up most of the night rattling chip bags.
The trip included swimming, hiking, rock
climbing, and horseback riding. Kim stared down her life-long fear of horses
and agreed to ride, but only if her horse was nicknamed “Granny” and had never
had more than one hoof off the ground at a time. When the trail wound slowly through
a nest of hornets (or something similar), even seasoned riders were bailing off,
and “Granny” high-tailed it home, along with 3 other renegade horses. Kim was
grateful to walk back in peace, her fear of horses still intact. With two good
legs and a set of car keys, no one really needs to ride horses, anyway. No need
to prove anything. All of the cousins and Jubilee continued the trail ride without
a hitch J and are ready for the next Uncle
Curt Adventure.
Goodness Snakes!
We discovered that Timothy isn’t afraid to
tackle any project - plumbing, electrical, carpentry - unless it involves
snakes. While crawling under the house to re-route a gas line, Timothy encountered
a snake. He shot out backward and kept running - pale, breathless and
stuttering; grass and dirt flying off his hair and clothes. He suggested we hire that little job out to a
plumber friend, and just not tell him about the snake. That’s how we treat our
friends.
If the Barn Needs Painted…
It started small. We just needed to replace
the kitchen carpet. It was 20 years old, after all. But first, let’s move the
island and upper cabinets over to the wall. And take out the upper cabinets
above the bar. And add a concrete pass-through bar into the living room. Add a
built-in spice rack, remove the pantry, strip and paint the dining room table
(Curt’s idea), add a ceiling fan, move out the file cabinets, paint the ceiling
and walls, and lay down a wide plank knotty pine floor (Timothy’s idea). But
wait! That makes the floor too tall for the doors to open and close, so all the
doors had to be raised ¾”. This revealed a problem with water drainage on the
back deck, which required taking half the deck apart. It still isn’t finished
(all the interior remodeling is being done simultaneously with the painting and
renovating of the outside of the
house. It still isn’t finished, either. Anyone who likes to paint is welcome to
join us.). And the living room carpet (20 years old, after all) looked really
bad up next to the dining room wood floor, so the carpet got ripped up all the
way down the hall. More wood ordered, laid, and sealed.
But wait! Kim didn’t want to smell the
deadly fumes from polyurethane sealer, so she insisted on using all natural Tung
oil and citrus solvent on the floor (Timothy argued that stingrays and
rattlesnakes are also all natural.). This stuff has to have 5 – 7 coats over a
2 day period, and then it takes 30 days to cure. No shoes for a month. No
furniture. The family stands barefoot in the living room and stares silently at
the floor. It’s all Kim’s fault. And it has to be re-sealed every year. For the
rest of your life.
Then Timothy started in on the bathroom. He
wants to add a concrete counter-top, and a tiled shower. And the floor looks
bad in there, too. But it’s 20 years old, after all. Timothy’s M.O. is to tear
up an area and then leave the country. We have no choice but to try to repair
it. “Get busy”, he says. “Have it done when I get back.” Kids these days.
At periodic intervals during the remodeling,
Timothy would invite a group of friends from out-of-state or overseas, to come
and stay the week. The purpose was to push us to a frenzy of painting and
hammering. It became common-place to have people sleeping on sofas and floors,
and walking on drop-cloths through the construction zones.
We are now in the midst of a 6-month
standoff on countertop material. Kim doesn’t mind Formica. Herb, however, has a
burning desire to replicate Fort Knox. The idea that granite would never need
to be replaced or remodeled in any way speaks to his soul on a very deep level.
Timothy wants to do all the counters in concrete (We’re leaning toward a
farmhouse-lodge-traditional-shabby-eclectic style.). Kim fears the added weight
of all that concrete may sink the kitchen. It’s 20 years old, after all.
To
Cap It Off…
Herb’s new hobby uses up the rest of his 24
allotted hours per day. His manual ammo reloader makes 1 bullet at a time, and,
oddly, has the arm mechanism of a slot machine, with the same addictive powers.
Whenever Herb can’t be found, just look for him in the shop, preparing for
Armageddon.
Timothy
is coaching Hannah Grace through her ACT readiness class, and keeps her saddled
with assignments. He must be a good motivator, because her practice test scores
are steadily improving.
Caleb enjoys teaching his favorite subject
(history) to Kristen’s kids 2 days/week. He usually hangs around long enough to
eat lunch with them, but “The History Guy” claims food was not a factor in his
decision.
Bethany and Hannah Grace traveled to Moore,
OK to help with the tornado clean-up. They were able to clear 2 house sites
before noon, and won the unofficial title of “fastest working crew.”
Hannah Grace and Jubilee kept the piano keys hot
with lessons and a recital in 2013. They also sang a few specials in church,
which made their mother very proud, indeed!
The Allison and Price families enjoyed
caroling room to room at the VA hospital and serenading the folks at Pleasant
Valley Nursing Home (including a personal concert in Aunt Jenny’s room!) What
we lacked in harmony, we made up for in volume, thanks to Herb and Uncle Curt!
Chinese New Year in Taiwan means a month-long break
from school, so Timothy went country hopping. He snow skied in South Korea, toured
the Philippines, and visited friends in Singapore. Must be rough.
